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Depression is always lurking and waiting for me to get lost.

For me to completely forget who I am.

I can’t see past this

Mountain of should haves

And could haves.

My head is a house of

Leaking faucets and burnt- out light bulbs.

You may not see me

Staring into the void

For

I wear a beautiful smile

As I move in circles

Inside my head.

I feel everything so deep

And

I feel numb as well.

I tell you, “It’s hard”.

You reply with, “You’re lazy”.

You don’t know

How hopeless I feel,

How scared I can be,

How hard it is to get myself moving.

My anxiety is silent.

It also make me want to

Runaway to a far far place.

Curl into a ball

Or throw myself off the bridge.

People always tell me

To sleep it away

Walk it away

Drink it away.

They just don’t understand

Nothing’s going to

Take me off of me.

I can’t learn to swim

When I drown

Deep into the water,

Panicking and choking.

There’s nothing down

To put my feet on.

I no longer can keep

My head above water.

I try to hold onto something.

But I keep drifting away.

I see everyone.

They were all

Yelling at me for falling.

Asking me to

Get over with it

And learn to swim.

The water slowly

Fills up my lungs.

I’m gasping for dear life.

There’s no more

Oxygen in my body.

I’m moving into void.

My heart beats rapidly

And

The sounds fades away.

I hear the ringing in my ears.

I see the light.

And I come into

Terms with depression.

Surrendering myself

To it.

All the weight

I was carrying

Gently floated away.

Everything turns grey.

And I disappear.

Remember

I asked for help

In all the ways I could

And

You missed it.

“Depression is a common mental disorder. Globally, more than 264 million people of all ages suffer from depression.

Depression is a leading cause of disability worldwide and is a major contributor to the overall global burden of disease.

More women are affected by depression than men.

Depression can lead to suicide.

There are effective psychological and pharmacological treatments for moderate and severe depression.“ – World Health Organization.

Keep your eyes and ears open for someone who needs help. They might ask help in the most unexpected ways. 


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